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Paul is calm, Paul is bright

Today is just over midway through our Christmas tour of duty, so we thought it high time we touched base with you, our loyal fan (s).

It’s also high time we dispelled any sordid rumours and false insinuations about our lifestyles. Far from being penniless, down-at-heel itinerants, we, thanks to stadium-sized audiences (low numbers,but huge people) and soaring CD sales¬† are simply basking in the lap of luxury. Living it up? You bet.

Therefore, at this season of goodwill we feel beholden to share with you a pictorial record of our sojourns of splendour and self-indulgence. Feast your eyes on these!!

  1. Over the years we’ve been lucky enough to stay in any nunber of Travelodges, many of which have been upgraded. We’re of the opinion that, at long last, they are value for money. Here’s the Chesterfield lodge:fullsizerender


2.  If you thought that was good, see the inside of the Cambridge Travelodge. Not bad for a second-rate university town!


3. Of course, such fame and glory comes with a downsde or two. Not least being mobbed by fans. Our maiden voyage to the Isle of Man was bound to draw out the crowds – thank goodness security was on hand to protect us.

4. Lest it go to our heads, we should remind ourselves how fortunate we are to be in such an exalted position. Being supported by lowly and often struggling artists only serves to highlight our privileged, and highly deserved status. Here’s the support act in Towcester.


5. Red carpet treatment? Pah. Here’s the superior golden version, laid for us over Clifton Bridge on the way from BBC Bristol to Halsway Manor.


6. When it all gets too much, an oasis of respite can be found in the form of a Travelodge garden. Here’s one near Colchester, designed we believe by Capability Brown.



7. And so to tonight’s opulent boudoir. A bed of roses swathed in the perfumed mist at Mongomery Castle.



Goodnight readers!!!